WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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