I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
