I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
