She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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