apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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