Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
