ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I wear drunk well.
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