i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize