she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize