You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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