Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
