I faked an abortion last night.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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