god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
