I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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