Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You need a sexual gate keeper
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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