I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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