so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
