Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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