She's JV to your varsity
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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