Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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