I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
