I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
