Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
