Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
