I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
