Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
