i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
