im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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