she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The beer is more important than you right now.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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