just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I had to cum in my sink.
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