You're completely useless in the revolution.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
