remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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