You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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