Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
