ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
