I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
