Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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