So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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