escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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