Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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