hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
