i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I don't deserve a penis
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
