He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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