I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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