in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
