Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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