The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize