I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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