I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
