my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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