You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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