God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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