thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
