We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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