Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize