The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
