I bet he comes in French.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
