omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize