I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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