oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
