Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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