Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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